Dude Looks Like A Lady
by Elle Mariet
Summary: CRACKF!C: Is Kagome going insane, or is Sesshomaru really appearing in her time and lipsyncing a popular Aerosmith song? NOT KAGOME/SESSHOMARU PAIRING


A/N: **If your not a fan of crackf!cs then I strongly advise you to not read this.** It was created for pure humor by myself and areo97. We thought of the idea after finding this song and thinking of the irony it has with Sesshomaru. It helps if you listen to the song while reading.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, or Dude Looks Like A Lady - Aerosmith.

_* _**Song is playing in the background.**

* "Song is being sung."

After the night of the new moon, Inuyasha had returned to his usal half demon self. The night Rin was abducted by Ongokuki, a demon who lured children by the sound of his flute and later sold them to other youkais' was in the past. Kagome returned to her time after arguing with Inuyasha, she was in need of a bath and real food. Not that she minded eating fish every night, but it was beginning to get hard on the digestive system.

Kagome lay in her tub, water colored from her scented bath bombs. She leaned her head back in the water and replayed the events that occured the day before.  
Sesshomaru had resuced Rin, the child that followed him. Kagome wasn't sure why the young girl traveled with Sesshomaru, it wasn't because she was homeless; the monks who killed Ongokuki had tried to convince her to return to the village with the other children that were kidnapped, but Rin refused. Did she love Sesshomaru? Dispite his cruel ruthlessness and bitter hatred for humans and certain half breeds, did Sesshomaru care for Rin? Was she special to him? Kagome didn't have the answers for those questions.

... The next day

"Kagome, dear." Mom called in a sweet honey voice.

"Yes, Mama?"

"Could you run and collect these errands for me from the grocery? I would but I'm so tied up in chores, and then there's preparing supper tonight.." She let her voice trail on, hoping her daughter would agree.

"Sure thing." Kagome said with an uneasy smile as her mother passed her a long list of items in her left hand, the right hand occupied a basket of clothes needing to be washed.

_Inuyasha would have a shit fit if he knew I went to get groceries, but I wont be that long.._ She thought as she trugged up to her bedroom.

She dressed in casual clothes; a beige skirt and a navy blue sweater that complimented her shape. She wrote Inuyasha a note incase the mood swinging Hanyou came barraling after her to drag her back through the well.

Inuyasha,

I went to run some errands for Mom, I'm not with any boys so lay off the jealousy.  
I'm not telling you where I went, and don't even think about asking Souta or I'll sit you into Canada.  
Be back soon, and stay home!

Kagome.

... 1 hour later

Kagome stood in the can goods isle, picking though soups she thought Inuyasha might like and what her mother required.  
Just then, the intercom which usually played soft, enchanting music blasted out a rock and roll song in top volume.

**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**

Kagome cringed as she looked around in confussion. She was alone in the isle. Did anyone else realize this? Why was it so loud? Who put it on? Where was everyone else? And why of all songs to play was this one playing?

**Cruised into a bar on the shore**  
**Her picture graced the grime on the door**  
**She a long lost love at first bite**  
**Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right**  
**That's right**

**That, that-**  
**That, that-**

She turned her head over her shoulder, and dropped the can of creamed corn when she took sight of the figure standing before her.

Sesshomaru was standing at the entrance of the isle with his left arm in the air, index finger pointed up, and demon hand where his right hand would be, on his hip. He started dancing towards her, catwalk style. His shoulders bounced from side to side, and his legs bounded inward and outward as he shuffled up to her.

"W- What the fu-" Kagome started but was interupted as the Youkai spoke. Or rather, lipsynced.

"Backstage we're having the time of our lives, until somebody say forgive me if I seem out of line, then she whipped out her gun and tried to blow me away!"

Kagome's mouth dropped, and she was about the question how he got the fuck through the well and just what the fuck was he doing when Sesshomaru grabbed the clerk standing nearby, a skinny teenage boy who had too many skin problems, and snatched the broom out of his hands. He held the broom against him and started hopping around like he was playing a guitar.

Kagome backed up, holding her hands up in confussion as the demon turned on his black boot and danced out of the isle, dissapearing out of the grocery store by his fluff, leaving Kagome and the clerk standing in complete shock.

As Kagome reached the checkout she nervously looked around. Was she dreaming? Was it someone dressed up who happened to look like Sesshomaru? Was she insane? No, the clerk had seen it too, and was looking around for his broom wondering why someone would want to dance with that dirty thing.

Kagome exited the grocery store and headed down the street. The cars drove furiously past her, it was rush hour so everyone was trying to get home as fast as they could. Kagome stood at the crosswalk, knowing she would be waiting for a long time.

She was standing for about five minutes when she saw a jet black limousine approaching the intersection. As it slowed down Kagome noticed the windows were rolled down and it was dark inside the vehicle, but a familiar song that she had heard just fifteen minutes ago was blasting out of the limousine.

**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**

The next thing Kagome knew Sesshomaru popped out of the sunroof, still holding the broom in his hand. He stood ontop of the limo as the car came to a complete stop at the red light. He portrayed a disco dancer and was sporting a pair of aviators.

"Sesshomaru!" Kagome screamed over the loud music.

The demon shot her a dazzling toothy grin and pulled a portable microphone out of his kimono sleeve and started jumping up and down on the roof of the limousine, rock star style.

"So never judge a book by it's cover, or who you're going to love by your lover. Love put me wise to her love in disguise, she had the body of a venus. Lord imagine my surprise!"

Kagome looked around at the people surrounding her; they were cheering and dancing along with the retarded Youkai, hollering and shouting in approval. Kagome swore she saw Lady Kaede and Totosai in the crowd grinding on each other, and Ah-Un in the drivers seat of the limousine.

As the light turned green the limousine roared to life and spun the tires, speeding off, and leaving colored smoke trailing behind. Kagome stood in utter astonishment as the music faded. She looked around, eyes wide, to see the citizens that were previously dancing along returned to their walking like nothing happened; Totosai and Lady Kaede no where to be seen.

... 2 hours later

_How was- He couldn't have- Does that mean?_

Kagome was sitting at her desk trying to concentrate on her studies when the phone rang. She dashed for it before Gramps had a chance to make up another crazy excuse that would benefit him.

"Hello?" She said breathlessly, hoping it wasn't who she thought it might be.

"Kagome!" Ayumi's voice sounded surprised.

"Hey! What's up, Ayumi?" Kagome said, relieved it was her school friend calling.

"I was calling to see if you well enough to come to the school dance."

"School dance?"

"Yeah, it's tonight- in an hour. Eri thought I should call you, were all going and..."

Kagome thought for a moment, ignoring Ayumi. Would Inuyasha care? He obviously didn't come to her house today, maybe he was finally letting her enjoy some time to herself? How much longer until he did come though?

She shook her head and smiled into the phone, "I'll be there!" she said triumphantly.

... Later

When Kagome entered the gym she was surprised to see it was decorated in ribbons and flowers. Spring Fling, how could I have forgotten. She thought sarcastically. Her friends had joined up with her and they started dancing to popular music. Dispite missing her favorite Hanyou, Kagome was enjoying herself. She wondered what would happen if Inuyasha was here with her. _He definately wouldn't dance,_ She thought with a laugh. _He'd be too busy looking for someone to battle with._

"Who's that?" Yuka asked with interest.

Kagome looked over to where her friend pointed and almost fell over when she discovered Miroku holding the hand of her math teacher. She gasped and realized he was probably asking her to bear his- W_ait a second, Miroku? How did-_ Kagome thought as she looked up to the stage where the DJ was and saw how she strangly looked like a pissed off Sango; giving Miroku a glare of death.

"Hey, Kagome!" Hojo rang out, coming in to the picture.

Kagome was about to tell him to fuck off so she could figure out how Sango was DJ-ing her dance and Miroku was getting busy with the teachers when a loud BOOM followed by a SMASH errupted the gym. Everything went dead silent until a hiss from a smoke machine clouded up the stage and a loud guitar rang out, thundering out the song Kagome hoped she never heard again.

**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**

Kagome yelled as Sesshomaru appeared on stage dancing exotically to the roaring beat of an electric guitar and a DJ set. Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka screamed and started rave dancing- throwing their hands in the air like the rest of the students.  
Sesshomaru swayed his fluff around and sexily leaned on the microphone stand before he lipsynced once again.

"Baby let me follow you down. Let me take a peek dear, baby let me follow you down, do me, do me, do me all night. Baby let me follow you down, turn the other cheek dear. Baby let me follow you down, do me, do me, do me, do me!"

Just then Jaken popped out infront of the singing beast and broke out into a guitar solo, while Sesshomaru jumped off stage and began to lead a cha-cha throughout the gymnasium. Kagome stood helplessly as she watched in horror as none other then Naraku came out of the shadows with his demonic spider like ass and jumped in next to Sesshomaru and danced the worm.

"Naraku? What the fuck!" Kagome yelled out, running up to her arch enemy and throwing her hands up in the air but was grabbed by a strong pair of hands and pulled into the crowd.

Kouga had Kagome in his arms as he attempted the tango, using his whirlwind speed around everyone else who was still cheering on Sesshomaru.

"Kouga, how did you get here?" Kagome screamed, trying to get loose.

Before Kouga could explain the gymnasium doors flew off the hinges and crashed in the wall Hojo was leaning against, causing him faint. Sesshomaru took his cue and jumped back on stage and brought the attention back to him.

"Get your filthy hands off Kagome, shit stain!" Inuyasha roared, putting tetsusaiga back in its sheath and running up to the wolf demon and Kagome.

"Inu-Inuyasha!"

"Who are you calling shit stain?" Kouga yelled over the loud music.

"I don't know how to fuck you got through the well but your going back in, dead or alive!" Inuyasha vowed before he looked up to see his brother pelvic-thrusting the air. Inuyasha fell down on the ground in mock horror.

"Ooh what a funky lady! She like it, like it, like it, like that, ooh he was a lady!" Sesshomaru sang out.

**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**  
**That, that- Dude looks like a lady**

Kagome jumped out of the way before she was mowed over by a group of teenagers doing the cha-cha around the room. She looked at the long line of dancers to see Kikyou leading.

**Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady**  
**Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady**  
**Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady**  
**Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady**

"Inu-" She began before she heard a familiar half breed voice echo through the gym.

"That, that- yayayayayayaya, chit chit yaow!"

She looked on stage to see her Hanyou and Sesshomaru doing the dance created by MC Hammer. Kagome's eyes widened and she fell back onto the floor.

**That, that-**  
**That, that-**

Kagome woke up with a scream. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. I'm in my room? So it was a dream. She sighed happily and lay back down in her bed, cuddling up with Buyo. She was thinking about what treats to bring Inuyasha when she returned to the fudel era when she heard it..

"That, that- Dude looks like a lady!"

Jumping up and running over the open window, Kagome looked out into her backyard to see Sesshomaru standing in the middle of it with the broom from the grocery store, gliding around in a small circle. Kagome rubbed her eyes and looked again but was dumbstruck when the backyard was empty.


End file.
